" When I woke up, everything smelt normal. I asked Lucy if she needed to go to the bathroom and she didn't move so I proceeded to the bathroom myself. I found it odd that she didn't need to go considering she always goes in the morning but I brushed it aside.

I brushed my teeth and washed my face. Walking back into my room, I smelt it. My arch nemesis, the very thing no man hopes to see. I turned to the culprit laying on her bed. She turned her huge seal eyes up at me and gave this face, the face of someone who was forced to do something evil. I turned from the culprit to try and find the evil I knew was somewhere near.

I looked on my bed. Nothing. I looked on my reading chair. Nada. But then, right between my dirty laundry and my dresser was a small puddle of irksomeness. I ran to the bathroom to try and find cleaning supplies, but to no avail. I went back into my room to try and find something to clean it up and that is when the stench fully hit me. It was as if I was being forced to sit in a room filled with rotting fish and cow manure. What could this dog have possibly eaten to do something so disgusting as this?!?!

And then it hit. The mucus. The saliva. I felt a churning in my stomach that could make the pope cuss. I ran into the bathroom but did not make it to the toilet and had to use the sink.

Needless to say, it was one hell of a way to start a morning. Mornings with Rotten Manure."